Why can’t the past
crumble like the twin towers
Shut the fuck up.
Then I remember I never saw it crumble—
Fourth grade didn’t have the view from a mile.
I saw the gnats a block away a day later
fish for flesh fished from the rubble.
An ashen city with ashen clouds
and faces kissed by 3,000 ghosts
spooked and bleeding staggering
across the island silent as sinful
I don’t do well with memories
and they stand too tall to tear down
but love me until they crumble
and hold me after.
I saw the missing persons plastered
on every bus station and wither
like their second life.
Glory, glory, Hallelujah rings true
because I need it to now more
I breathed the hot, fresh, ghastly air
before the government gave me
humidifiers so I breathe easy
while screaming. Beats cancer, though.
Love me like there’s no one else
in your mind and etch my face
as you close your eyes.
Let me see you see me
so I find what peace is
before I’m a bus station
face and your eyes
are closed under another.
Deaths like clap beats
outside my window
and a short walk.
Lord, give me peace
like I’ve never known.
Keep me on my knees
until my lips can no longer
pray against yours
and nourish me til lying
and standing and breathing
Pull me in, pull me in,
baby, keep me in
so the only moans are ours
caressed in the thick night.
No weapon shall prosper
against me in your holy name.
And I wanna howl how much I love you
louder than all the warning sirens
and the gnashing parchment bible
sheets and cover my ears as it
flies overhead and I want to know
what it sounds like when it’s silent
and there’s nothing left but us
and where to go from there.
Teach me short-term memory
and lock me in your sights.
Only now does “Glory Hallelujah” ring true
because I finally want it to
so anyone but me answers.